Some guys love with their eyes, others with their dicks but Steve tends to love with his mind. So if it just sex, it is probably just lust. If the guy is playing around with his feelings, he’s probably a looser. But if he calls you when, you do not have plans but just to see if you are ok…it probably it is love. If you actually go outside the bedroom and go on real dates where you talk…it is probably love. And if he talks to you before, during and after sex or all…it may be love. But there is not real test to find out. But I am not sure it is 100% correct. Steve…only you can know how you feel about this guy. Just ask your heart.

• Benelux Doms

Does all of this benchmarking actually lead to a never ending cycle of looking for material things to make us happy? There will always be a time when others are smarter, prettier, stronger and richer. Should we stop benchmarking and just be happy with what we have? Or instead of benchmarking up, should we be benchmarking down…so we actually feel better about ourselves and about what we have accomplished. My friends Ally and Tom are an ambitious and upward mobile couple. Both of them recently got married and both have good jobs. They are a couple that is constantly benchmarking...up…never being happy with what they have…always wanting a bigger house, a better car or a better job. They actually spend a lot of time and energy on this constant search…and at times neglect and take for granted what they already have: a loving partner, good jobs, and great friends. I am not judging them. I tend to do the same, albeit benchmark down. You know what I mean…when you compare yourself with friends who have lower jobs, less education, smaller houses, etc. I tell myself…"at least I’m doing better than so and so…." In perfect world there would be no benchmarking. We would live in a socialist self esteem estate: everyone happy with what they have…not what they are missing.

• Girls Instagram Contacts

They say relationships are all about equality and balance. We are taught that one must not love more than one is loved. “You must get as much as you give,” some say. “You must not be dependant on your partner,” others say. “It is better to give more than you get,” writes another blogger. It is no wonder that when you are in a relationship, you feel like you are balancing emotions, expectations and your own sense of self. And sometimes when you loose this balance, the weight of your relationship can come down and break your heart. My friend Natasha told me she and her boyfriend had broken up. She reckoned that the break up was the only equal act in their relationship. She said the break up had been a mutual decision. She expected and needed more from the relationship. He thought she was too intense and he was giving up too much to be with her.

• Kinky Cupid Singles

They say that there is no point in comparing yourself with others as no one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you. Yet life seems to be a constant competition. We aspire to be smarter, healthier, more attractive and wealthier than everyone else. Instead of loving our neighbour, we are often trying to out do him. Society tells us there is a need to benchmark our lives with everyone else. We are expected to be more successful than our parents. Siblings rival to be the more successful one: to be the first to get married, the first to have children or the only one to be gay! At 30, we are expected to be married, have a house and a great career. I constantly keep telling myself, “Everyone seems to be more successful then me. At 30, my father already had a business. At 30, my brother already had bought a house…”

• Girls from Snapchat

Relationships are never static. Everyone is constantly trying to define relationships: seeing each other, dating, engaged, married, de-factor, domestic, divorced and widowed are just some labels. My friend Steve has been seeing a new guy for the last two weeks. Everything is going well, except that Steve thinks their relationship is way too sexual. No gay man dislikes sex. Even gay guys in relationships are going at it like rabbits. But Steve feels that sex dominates their relationship. He is worried that the guy is actually not that into him. Or he is into him but only physically speaking! So he asked me…is it love, lust or is this guy just a loser? For many men having sex with someone does not equate being in love with that person or even liking that person. We have all had feeling-less sex where it becomes more of a body function (like eating) than an emotional experience. Lust is usually the first step in any relationship. We are attracted to his nice ass, his big arms or cheeky smile.

• Sugar Babies